Disclaimer: Jets Tailspin is a satire column.

The phone ban introduced last year brings both positive and adverse effects to the student body. Some agree that phones overall negatively influenced student behavior and welcomed the ban. Others stand outside Dr. Willette’s office in protest, angrily waiting for their phones. But an unknown side of the issue rears its ugly head, revealing a devious and unexpected development: teachers caught using seized devices for their own benefits.

“I needed to get my fix of Roblox, ever heard of ‘Grow a Garden?” said Ms. Wang.

“I’m reading a book. Maybe,” said Ms. Nagy.

“My digital cats need me!” shouted Mrs. Willette.

“The Tiktoks don’t record themselves,” shrugged Ms. Loutsch.

Mr. Kaschub said, “My Fantasy Football team needed to be drafted, this phone was the perfect opportunity.”

“I left my phone in a taxi, so when I saw a phone out, I knew I found my replacement,” claimed Mrs. Medina.

Mr. Gall commented, “I needed to order some food for a teacher meeting. The textbook? That’s for homework.”

Mr. Bergan kicked back and deadpanned, “I needed to watch K-Pop Demon Hunters one more time.”