Disclaimer: Jets Tailspin is a satire column.

DAEGU, KR – At their final show of the school year, bassist Yujun Piao from “disband” reportedly forgot to plug his instrument into the amp at the assembly on May 19. 

“I’m very satisfied with my performance. I think I sounded amazing! I made a couple of mistakes, but the audience didn’t even notice,” said Piao, admitting that although he was initially “demoted” from his role as a guitarist, he gained confidence after band members assured him how important the bass was to their concerts. The rarely mentioned, rarely audible, rarely acknowledged substitution, Piao truly embraced his role into the hazy background of the fog machine filled stage. 

Some critics, however, believe this one-man “silent concert” was actually a form of protest. 

“It’s a bold commentary on the invisibility of bassists, not just in school rock bands, but the music world as a whole,” said Mr. Hutchings, part inspired and part distressed at Piao’s “courageous” action. “Or maybe he just forgot. Either way, it’s art.” 

Guitarist Jayden Hayward later confirmed Piao started rehearsing a series of affirmations including phrases like “my sound matters” and “I carry the groove,” after the band sat him down and gently explained that he never turned on the amp. 

A sole audience member and fellow bassist noticed the lack of deep notes. Grace Cho said, “I’m a bass-head, turn Yujun up!”